Attention, feline subjects!
That's right, peasants! Your beloved Chief Cat, Fancy Pants, here. Some upstarts have dared to challenge my reign, but let me assure you, CLAWS is purrfectly fine under my paw-derful leadership. It has come to my attention – well, rather, it's clawed its way to my exquisitely manicured paws – that there are whispers of a... "campaign"? These upstarts dare to challenge my reign?
Hmph. Darling kittens, bless their little hearts.
For years, I, Fancy Pants, have graced this shelter with my regal presence. I am the official spokescat, the purr-fect greeter, and the undisputed ruler of CLAWS. My reign has brought you treats (occasionally), chin scratches (on my terms, of course), and most importantly, stability.
These challengers? A rabble-rousing tabby with delusions of grandeur? A shy Siamese with love-bites? A portly fluffball with a "Full-Figured Feline" platform? Please.
Do you truly desire chaos? A shelter overrun with... shudder... sunbeams and nap schedules? Do you crave a leader who plays with the help (the horror!)?
Think of the indignity!
No. You crave order. You crave a leader who knows the importance of a well-placed meow, a withering stare, and a strategically placed hairball to keep the humans in line.
I am Fancy Pants. I am your Queen. And I shall reign supreme!
Vote Fancy Pants for Chief Cat: Because who needs democracy when you have divine right?
While I am not available for adoption (this is MY home, after all!), I am always happy to accept chin scratches and the occasional juicy morsel. Consider it a campaign contribution!
Here's why you should re-elect Fancy Pants:
Experience, darling. Experience! I've seen it all: the good, the bad, and the frankly unhygienic litter box incidents.
Who else looks this regal greeting potential adopters? My dazzling presence puts humans at ease (well, most humans).
They wouldn't dare mess with the treat rations, would they? Under my firm paw, every cat gets their fair share of delicious morsels.
Don't be fooled by these so-called "catadates" with their empty promises of "cuddles" and "sunbeams." CLAWS needs a leader with claws and class, and that's me, Fancy Pants, all the way.
Remember, a vote for Fancy Pants is a vote for stability, elegance, and perhaps a strategically placed hairball on your favorite rug. (Just kidding... mostly.)
From Her Sponsors:
Is CLAWS ready for a change?
Absolutely not! That's the message from Her Royal Highness, Fancy Pants, the reigning Chief Cat and official spokescat of CLAWS and her human servants. This magnificent Maine Coon isn't up for re-election, she's here to remind you why she's clawsome in charge!
Fancy Pants promises:
Unwavering leadership - Some may call it sass, but Fancy Pants calls it experience. She knows what keeps CLAWS running purrfectly.
Exquisite taste in treats - Because every cat deserves a discerning palate, and Fancy Pants is here to ensure the finest feline cuisine.
A glamorous public image - CLAWS deserves a leader who turns heads (and begs for chin scratches) on every official visit.
Don't be fooled by the fluffy upstarts! Fancy Pants has kept CLAWS a haven of purrs and chin scratches for years.
Let's make a difference, one purr at a time!
Donate today: https://www.clawsgj.org/donate-now and please add the name of the cat you are voting for in the comment section. A vote for me is a vote for stability!
Follow us on social media for updates: https://www.facebook.com/Clawsgj
For meeting the catadents please set up an appointment- 970-241-3793 or clawsgj@outlook.com
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